• bitcoinBitcoin (BTC) $ 61,945.00
  • ethereumEthereum (ETH) $ 3,427.89
  • tetherTether (USDT) $ 1.00
  • bnbBNB (BNB) $ 412.70
  • solanaSolana (SOL) $ 129.63
  • xrpXRP (XRP) $ 0.634407
  • staked-etherLido Staked Ether (STETH) $ 3,427.04
  • usd-coinUSDC (USDC) $ 0.999625
  • cardanoCardano (ADA) $ 0.731097
  • dogecoinDogecoin (DOGE) $ 0.141171
  • avalanche-2Avalanche (AVAX) $ 43.59
  • shiba-inuShiba Inu (SHIB) $ 0.000022
  • chainlinkChainlink (LINK) $ 21.17
  • tronTRON (TRX) $ 0.141154
  • polkadotPolkadot (DOT) $ 9.26
  • matic-networkPolygon (MATIC) $ 1.11
  • wrapped-bitcoinWrapped Bitcoin (WBTC) $ 62,007.00
  • bitcoin-cashBitcoin Cash (BCH) $ 487.91
  • uniswapUniswap (UNI) $ 12.65
  • the-open-networkToncoin (TON) $ 2.72
  • litecoinLitecoin (LTC) $ 92.66
  • internet-computerInternet Computer (ICP) $ 13.74
  • daiDai (DAI) $ 0.998833
  • ethereum-classicEthereum Classic (ETC) $ 34.55
  • filecoinFilecoin (FIL) $ 9.14
  • cosmosCosmos Hub (ATOM) $ 12.12
  • immutable-xImmutable (IMX) $ 3.33
  • nearNEAR Protocol (NEAR) $ 4.30
  • leo-tokenLEO Token (LEO) $ 4.81
  • aptosAptos (APT) $ 12.04
  • blockstackStacks (STX) $ 2.98
  • optimismOptimism (OP) $ 4.21
  • bittensorBittensor (TAO) $ 637.79
  • stellarStellar (XLM) $ 0.136658
  • crypto-com-chainCronos (CRO) $ 0.146804
  • kaspaKaspa (KAS) $ 0.168686
  • hedera-hashgraphHedera (HBAR) $ 0.114492
  • injective-protocolInjective (INJ) $ 42.14
  • vechainVeChain (VET) $ 0.049804
  • okbOKB (OKB) $ 58.68
  • first-digital-usdFirst Digital USD (FDUSD) $ 0.998376
  • lido-daoLido DAO (LDO) $ 3.52
  • the-graphThe Graph (GRT) $ 0.326652
  • mantleMantle (MNT) $ 0.900451
  • render-tokenRender (RNDR) $ 7.72
  • celestiaCelestia (TIA) $ 16.66
  • arbitrumArbitrum (ARB) $ 2.17
  • moneroMonero (XMR) $ 149.71
  • theta-tokenTheta Network (THETA) $ 2.38
  • bitcoin-svBitcoin SV (BSV) $ 120.07
  • sei-networkSei (SEI) $ 0.865350
  • rocket-pool-ethRocket Pool ETH (RETH) $ 3,773.09
  • suiSui (SUI) $ 1.62
  • algorandAlgorand (ALGO) $ 0.244786
  • makerMaker (MKR) $ 2,130.64
  • fetch-aiFetch.ai (FET) $ 1.83
  • elrond-erd-2MultiversX (EGLD) $ 70.98
  • quant-networkQuant (QNT) $ 128.59
  • arweaveArweave (AR) $ 28.38
  • beam-2Beam (BEAM) $ 0.035113
  • mantle-staked-etherMantle Staked Ether (METH) $ 3,522.85
  • flowFlow (FLOW) $ 1.19
  • thorchainTHORChain (RUNE) $ 5.79
  • pepePepe (PEPE) $ 0.000004
  • aaveAave (AAVE) $ 115.69
  • dogwifcoindogwifhat (WIF) $ 1.67
  • ordinalsORDI (ORDI) $ 79.03
  • flare-networksFlare (FLR) $ 0.046565
  • galaGALA (GALA) $ 0.046202
  • dydx-chaindYdX (DYDX) $ 3.76
  • bonkBonk (BONK) $ 0.000024
  • the-sandboxThe Sandbox (SAND) $ 0.691424
  • axie-infinityAxie Infinity (AXS) $ 10.96
  • havvenSynthetix Network (SNX) $ 4.58
  • mina-protocolMina Protocol (MINA) $ 1.42
  • fantomFantom (FTM) $ 0.534040
  • bittorrentBitTorrent (BTT) $ 0.000001
  • chilizChiliz (CHZ) $ 0.158906
  • apecoinApeCoin (APE) $ 2.32
  • starknetStarknet (STRK) $ 1.90
  • flokiFLOKI (FLOKI) $ 0.000134
  • bitget-tokenBitget Token (BGB) $ 0.951965
  • sats-ordinalsSATS (Ordinals) (SATS) $ 0.00000062
  • corgiaiCorgiAI (CORGIAI) $ 0.004176
  • true-usdTrueUSD (TUSD) $ 1.00
  • tezosTezos (XTZ) $ 1.40
  • heliumHelium (HNT) $ 8.76
  • decentralandDecentraland (MANA) $ 0.674752
  • kucoin-sharesKuCoin (KCS) $ 12.94
  • tokenize-xchangeTokenize Xchange (TKX) $ 15.56
  • eosEOS (EOS) $ 1.06
  • axelarAxelar (AXL) $ 2.05
  • whitebitWhiteBIT Coin (WBT) $ 8.21
  • singularitynetSingularityNET (AGIX) $ 0.929056
  • neoNEO (NEO) $ 16.65
  • worldcoin-wldWorldcoin (WLD) $ 8.23
  • dydxdYdX (ETHDYDX) $ 3.75
  • oasis-networkOasis Network (ROSE) $ 0.165960
  • blurBlur (BLUR) $ 0.752020
  • pyth-networkPyth Network (PYTH) $ 0.709658
  • akash-networkAkash Network (AKT) $ 4.62
  • terra-lunaTerra Luna Classic (LUNC) $ 0.000183
  • conflux-tokenConflux (CFX) $ 0.279347
  • klay-tokenKlaytn (KLAY) $ 0.298315
  • kavaKava (KAVA) $ 0.964314
  • jasmycoinJasmyCoin (JASMY) $ 0.021446
  • gnosisGnosis (GNO) $ 399.49
  • frax-etherFrax Ether (FRXETH) $ 3,417.12
  • iotaIOTA (IOTA) $ 0.327577
  • cheeleeCheelee (CHEEL) $ 18.08
  • osmosisOsmosis (OSMO) $ 1.61
  • woo-networkWOO (WOO) $ 0.539835
  • wemix-tokenWEMIX (WEMIX) $ 2.70
  • astarAstar (ASTR) $ 0.168519
  • dymensionDymension (DYM) $ 6.25
  • roninRonin (RON) $ 2.99
  • ecasheCash (XEC) $ 0.000046
  • msolMarinade staked SOL (MSOL) $ 152.19
  • swethSwell Ethereum (SWETH) $ 3,538.48
  • jupiter-exchange-solanaJupiter (JUP) $ 0.618698
  • pancakeswap-tokenPancakeSwap (CAKE) $ 3.39
  • illuviumIlluvium (ILV) $ 125.47
  • curve-dao-tokenCurve DAO (CRV) $ 0.690527
  • nexoNEXO (NEXO) $ 1.39
  • staked-frax-etherStaked Frax Ether (SFRXETH) $ 3,680.19
  • enjincoinEnjin Coin (ENJ) $ 0.526914
  • manta-networkManta Network (MANTA) $ 2.99
  • ribbon-financeRibbon Finance (RBN) $ 0.794261
  • gatechain-tokenGate (GT) $ 5.53
  • usddUSDD (USDD) $ 0.998880
  • ethereum-name-serviceEthereum Name Service (ENS) $ 22.92
  • holotokenHolo (HOT) $ 0.004006
  • frax-shareFrax Share (FXS) $ 9.13
  • ondo-financeOndo (ONDO) $ 0.480874
  • nervos-networkNervos Network (CKB) $ 0.015848
  • bitcoin-goldBitcoin Gold (BTG) $ 38.87
  • superfarmSuperVerse (SUPER) $ 1.51
  • ethena-usdeEthena USDe (USDE) $ 1.00
  • 1inch1inch (1INCH) $ 0.587613
  • coinbase-wrapped-staked-ethCoinbase Wrapped Staked ETH (CBETH) $ 3,632.96
  • coredaoorgCore (CORE) $ 0.765072
  • xdce-crowd-saleXDC Network (XDC) $ 0.046525
  • fraxFrax (FRAX) $ 0.995343
  • rocket-poolRocket Pool (RPL) $ 31.87
  • compound-governance-tokenCompound (COMP) $ 91.96
  • trust-wallet-tokenTrust Wallet (TWT) $ 1.51
  • ocean-protocolOcean Protocol (OCEAN) $ 1.04
  • celoCelo (CELO) $ 1.16
  • iotexIoTeX (IOTX) $ 0.062593
  • lido-staked-solLido Staked SOL (STSOL) $ 151.33
  • terra-luna-2Terra (LUNA) $ 0.869104
  • stepnGMT (GMT) $ 0.330702
  • metis-tokenMetis (METIS) $ 109.12
  • zetachainZetaChain (ZETA) $ 2.39
  • skaleSKALE (SKL) $ 0.109103
  • altlayerAltLayer (ALT) $ 0.509279
  • apenftAPENFT (NFT) $ 0.00000056
  • siacoinSiacoin (SC) $ 0.009837
  • gmxGMX (GMX) $ 58.52
  • zilliqaZilliqa (ZIL) $ 0.030850
  • casper-networkCasper Network (CSPR) $ 0.045682
  • echelon-primeEchelon Prime (PRIME) $ 15.06
  • fasttokenFasttoken (FTN) $ 1.74
  • theta-fuelTheta Fuel (TFUEL) $ 0.079871
  • golemGolem (GLM) $ 0.546625
  • kujiraKujira (KUJI) $ 4.20
  • tether-goldTether Gold (XAUT) $ 2,079.06
  • arkhamArkham (ARKM) $ 2.72
  • chiaChia (XCH) $ 50.46
  • kusamaKusama (KSM) $ 54.41
  • gasGas (GAS) $ 7.43
  • zcashZcash (ZEC) $ 32.75
  • aelfaelf (ELF) $ 0.684343
  • basic-attention-tokenBasic Attention (BAT) $ 0.318216
  • origintrailOriginTrail (TRAC) $ 1.24
  • compound-wrapped-btccWBTC (CWBTC) $ 1,244.29
  • radixRadix (XRD) $ 0.045402
  • mask-networkMask Network (MASK) $ 4.91
  • livepeerLivepeer (LPT) $ 14.92
  • compound-ethercETH (CETH) $ 68.99
  • dashDash (DASH) $ 38.34
  • qtumQtum (QTUM) $ 4.21
  • desoDecentralized Social (DESO) $ 41.61
  • pixelsPixels (PIXEL) $ 0.566463
  • nosanaNosana (NOS) $ 5.13
  • stader-ethxStader ETHx (ETHX) $ 3,461.11
  • moonbeamMoonbeam (GLMR) $ 0.509173
  • nemNEM (XEM) $ 0.046771
  • magaMAGA (TRUMP) $ 8.99
  • convex-financeConvex Finance (CVX) $ 5.08
  • ethereum-pow-iouEthereumPoW (ETHW) $ 3.83
  • neutron-3Neutron (NTRN) $ 1.48
  • loopringLoopring (LRC) $ 0.329661
  • api3API3 (API3) $ 3.93
  • strideStride (STRD) $ 4.56
  • memecoin-2Memecoin (MEME) $ 0.041851
  • ankrAnkr Network (ANKR) $ 0.039804
  • aleph-zeroAleph Zero (AZERO) $ 1.31
  • pax-goldPAX Gold (PAXG) $ 2,030.13
  • decredDecred (DCR) $ 24.87

ETF Countdowns, Screaming Buys, Happy New Years and 20 Crypto Jokes

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Disclosure: Crypto is a high-risk asset class. This article is provided for informational purposes and does not constitute investment advice. By using this website, you agree to our terms and conditions. We may utilise affiliate links within our content, and receive commission.

This is your weekly digest of top crypto news from Cryptonews.com, followed by a collection of 20 hand-picked crypto jokes.

__________

This week in crypto: the Bitcoin ETF countdown has begun, representatives from at least seven companies seeking to launch ETFs met with the US SEC officials, Market Haven said spot BTC ETF is expected to generate a staggering demand, potentially reaching up to $3 billion in the initial days, and VanEck named bitcoin one of the firm’s “screaming buys” for 2024.

As this was happening, Solana and Avalanche took the 2023 throne with 620% and 290% price growth, a Taproot Wizards contributor launched a script to reject Ordinals inscriptions, and while Robinhood’s crypto revenue hit its lowest in three years, it nonetheless expanded its crypto operations.

Vitalik Buterin blamed rising transaction fees for Web3’s drift from decentralization, and he proposed three alternative methods aimed at simplifying Ethereum’s PoS design.

Then, China launched its first automated digital yuan wallet-opening machine for overseas passport holders, and Hong Kong prepared to authorize funds with direct exposure to digital assets, including spot crypto ETFs.

In the tax realm, while Japan’s government abolished the crypto tax on unrealized corporate gains, Argentina’s newly elected government introduced a novel bill to regulate crypto holdings for taxpayers.

Meanwhile, Surfshark found that nine of the fifteen most popular crypto apps collected data to track their users, and a privacy advocate alleged that the Ledger Live wallet software monitored its users. Speaking of privacy, OKX will delist eight privacy-focused coins in January.

Crime continued and will continue. South Korean police shut down gangsters’ $32m crypto scam ring, and Immunefi found that with the rise in crypto prices, 2024 may see the most substantial losses in Web3 ever.

Moving to the legal region of the crypto world, Mt. Gox creditors said they started receiving compensation payments via PayPal in Japanese yen, but soon they reported double payments, as the trustee asked for the second one back.

Changpeng Zhao’s wealth surged by $25 billion despite his many legal troubles in 2023, while a 23-year-old student turned out to be the majority owner of a Bitcoin mining farm fighting legal battles. China’s Supreme People’s Procuratorate disclosed the details behind the seven-year prison sentence given to RenrenBit founder Zhao Dong.

That’s not all. A US Bankruptcy Court granted approval for Celsius Network’s proposed “MiningCo Transaction,” FTX debtors released estimated values for cryptocurrency claims, and FTX and its debtors reached a settlement agreement with SBF to address claims related to the Embeda acquisition.

Meanwhile, the company called Rejuve is using AI and crypto to improve individuals’ health and longevity, while Sotheby’s made “close to $35 million” in digital art sales in 2023, describing it as “one of the most exciting years for digital art.”

Now, laugh at some jokes, and have a Very Happy New Year!

__________

GM, all. GM.

GM early birds.🙌☀️

Let’s start the daily grind. pic.twitter.com/Vy00a3rnmZ

— Blackbeard (@blackbeardXBT) December 27, 2023

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Simple. To the point.

Source: xamanap / Twitter

__

Expert bears.

Bears giving back their unrealized profits on each impulse pic.twitter.com/qT4PfVj548

— The Crypto Monk (@thecryptomonk) December 25, 2023

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Thoroughly unimpressed and pre-heart attack.

Source: coin.bureau / Instagram

__

Get him! He has the BTC I wished I bought in 2010!

You won’t get away this time, fat man. pic.twitter.com/R1tJMb9TqZ

— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) December 25, 2023

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“I’m too rich currently, at this present moment that is right now!”

Source: Twitter

__

This would at least be somewhat beneficial.

Source: Instagram

__

And I need 10,000 of you every month.

«I make 7 figures a month, but I need you to give me $100 every single month to show you how» pic.twitter.com/vq7TsHRQWo

— Heart (@heartereum) December 14, 2023

__

pic.twitter.com/eaaRNBFhGN

— Mao Ze Long (@CryptoMaoZeLong) December 25, 2023

__

An oopsie and an oof.

GM degenerate shitcoin traders. pic.twitter.com/NCeTa0MLQl

— Blackbeard (@blackbeardXBT) December 23, 2023

__

Inside view.

this is what trading meme coins on solana looks likepic.twitter.com/MyHHUTpGlr

— LilMoonLambo (@LilMoonLambo) December 27, 2023

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The grandump strategy.

All you have to do in bull markets is buy, wait and dump on someone’s grandma when they buy at pico mania top pic.twitter.com/9arixsaNoL

— Teddy (@TeddyCleps) December 22, 2023

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This gran is not messing around.

You all told Abuela to buy Solana and this happened 🤦‍♂️
https://t.co/vsHkgQM2sM

— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) December 27, 2023

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And discuss.

ok. pic.twitter.com/wjvtdNhOsz

— L (@0xLawliette) December 8, 2023

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Yeah, I don’t know about those tiny background plants.

Source: coin.bureau / Instagram

__

Is this checking consensual, and why not?

Checking what the next gen of bag holders is made of pic.twitter.com/0ebdy4sTa0

— The Crypto Monk (@thecryptomonk) December 15, 2023

__

Livestream.

Me and the boys longing the market the past weeks. pic.twitter.com/l9XPskghlw

— Blackbeard (@blackbeardXBT) December 25, 2023

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This year in review.

2023 Crypto Year in Review pic.twitter.com/rzGdzboJT6

— intern (@intern) December 21, 2023

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Kill it! Kill it while it’s small!

Source: xamanap / Twitter

__

Yes. Happy New Year, all!

THE BULL MARKET IS BACKpic.twitter.com/0DMFNPBS6h

— LilMoonLambo (@LilMoonLambo) December 26, 2023

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